Everybody’s Doing It
Might as well do it right.
- TauKamal
From the smallest state in the country in the north, down to the southern tip of the peninsular. From the peaceful country side to the hustle and bustle in our ever growing metropolitan cities. In universities, colleges, high schools, middle schools and in a number of isolated cases, primary schools. Those in their middle age do not want to be left behind too. There is no written civil law let alone the constitution that states the citizen of this independent country is prohibited from doing it. It is natural and fun and satisfying if you know how to make it fun and satisfying, and to do so, well, you will certainly need a fair level of experience. Of course there is this grey area in the norm of any society that the practice might be tabooed. Well, since it is indeed grey, who gives a flying fuck.
Oops, there it is. I said it. In a more civilized manner, sex. Or if that word turns you red, intercourse, or the practice of demonstrating physical attraction. When I said everybody, I really meant everybody. So many of us have done it that the ratio of the number of people who have done it matches the local – Malaysian ratio in
No, it is not fine. Not the underlying culture of a social group nor it is the restrictions by certain religions that make the subject of sex (or even mentioning the word) a taboo or even illegal. That entirely depends of individuals. What not fine is the ignorance on negative physical impact it brings if it is not done properly. All of us have been taught the basics of sex, protection and family planning back in school. But the trouble is, the subject seemed to be way too embarrassing for the teacher to elaborate and far too awkward for the kids to really pay attention to what the teacher had to say, that it is only taught in one chapter, in one secondary school module for less than half an hour throughout 11 years of compulsory education. And it never came up in any examinations. The results, nobody gives a flying fuck about it, nobody remembers it and the subject was never to be discussed ever again.
The lack of information gets the kids curious. So they start to find external resources, not to learn how to do it – as we humans, at certain age just miraculously happen to know what to do with our penises and vaginas especially when they meet – but to learn to improvise. The visuals are normally so realistic and natural, and exiting and intriguing. It can be done in so many ways at so many places and with so many people!!! Then one thing they would certainly notice. There is no ‘rubber’ present. But the kids do have a vague memory in the darkest corners of their brains that their science teacher one said that to do it right you would need rubber. But those guys on TV never used them. Now the question arises. What are they for? But there is no one there to ask, and if they did ask someone, chances are that someone would not want to talk about it because it’s ‘not nice to talk about it’ or ‘you’re too young to know’. In the end the kids would come up with their own logics. “Hmm, use rubber to play safe. But those actors never use them, and their partners seem to be fine with it… YES!!! Now I get it!!! They fire their blow all over their partners’ bodies instead of inside them so they will not get pregnant. And the reason anyone would use rubber it that, so they will not stain and mess up the velvet couch, now the couch is safe!!! Now that makes perfect sense, use rubber to play safe!!!”
Now is the time to experiment everything they have picked up so far. They would do it the first time and get over the awkward moment, and off they go. Without realizing they have graduated from
Well, our natural knee-jerk reaction would be to start pointing fingers. Parents start to blame their kids, and vise versa, and the government… well, they just don’t give a flying fuck. Or do they? Even if they do, some shallow cum narrow minded ‘concerned’ citizen – parents, NGOs, teachers, politicians included – will go on and on about how we practice eastern culture and it is not in our culture to talk about it. It’s a taboo. Even to talk about it. They make it seem like it was a sin to even mention the word ‘sex’, while other words with similar meaning say… ‘fuck’ are being used the way our ever popular ‘lah’ are used all day everyday. These people will freak out if someone suggested sexual education to be incorporated in school curriculum, believing sex belongs only to those who are married. Well, there is a little truth in that. But that attitude towards sex, gives the idea to the kids that marriage is merely a license to be having sex. Well, it kind of true, that traditionally, in our culture we can only have sex with our legitimate partners. Guess what people, that culture is long gone. All this while you have been busting your bums off to protect something that’s not even there anymore.
Of course introducing sexual education in schools will not be an easy task. But we managed to change the language used in our education system, slowly but surely. In a way, this should be easier as sex, regardless what language it is in, is the same. Same technique and same results. There is only one way to put on a condom. For practical training, we always have abundant supply bananas to learn to put them on. Availability of free condoms birth control pills needs to be made public. Literature on dangers of unprotected sex should be made available for everyone especially teenagers. Well, these resources ARE available and they ARE FREE!!! All we have to do is approach any nearest government health care centre and ask for them. But many, even those who know, could come up with a million excuses not to get them. Some are shy; some don’t know they are free. Even they need to be purchased, a pack of three condoms cost not more than RM10. That is way cheaper that any clinics that offer illegal abortion, cheaper than STD treatments and definitely cheaper than raising a child.
At the same time you will be surprised to find that many matured adults have still no clue on benefits and advantages of having protected sex and family planning. They are 40 year old mothers who get pregnant every single year since they were married. Being pregnant at that age not only dangers the baby, it can even kill the mother. When asked on why they do not use contraceptives, the answers are always painful to hear. “We can’t afford them”, or “They are not comfortable” and the worst yet, “My husband does not believe in using condoms and he wouldn’t let me take pills either.” SERIOUSLY???!!!
The lack of sexual education has led to many severe consequences. Our ignorance has killed many ever year and will continue so long as we don’t open our minds. Unmarried young people will keep on having raunchy sex without any kind of protection because they see porn stars are doing alright without them. Matured adults still commit adultery thinking their legitimate partner will never suffer, both mentally and physically, and we who somehow, so far, managed to luckily get away with it free from any deadly diseases and mental distress just DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK.
