My view so f*ck you

I rewarded myself just a tad too much having completed several tasks at work today after a whole day of ‘plan-your-life motivational seminar’, smack in the middle of KL. So I’m a little on the opposite of the lucid side writing this and should you find ideas that I bring about a little preposterous, incomprehensible or constipating, well, fuck you.

So after the handsome reward that I presented myself with, I experience what some might call (or that’s what it actually was) the ‘out of body’ experience. Scary at first but after a few seconds, the feeling of absence of gravity, I found, rather pleasant. I floated about the ‘Heights’, then decided to go farther up to get a broader view of the surface of the third rock from the sun. It was spectacular. Streetlights guiding motorcars to wherever they were going and neon lights of all sorts, give character to buildings and structures.

I could also hear things. Fuel injectors in cars hissing fuel-air mixture, analogue timers clicking in traffic lights and sound of hair growing on an old man’s head cycling through Sprint heavy traffic.

That was when I begun to wish I was back in my physical body where I was safe form these supernatural ability to see, hear, and know more than I should. I heard people talking; about the traffic, about the food, about their jobs and about others, and I realized why there are so much hatred, bigotry, madness, and war in this world. It is the way we assign connotations to otherwise slightly, only slightly unfavorable situations. I heard them say; “the traffic is torturous”, “the food tastes nasty”, “my job is hell”, “that fellow is such a Hitler”.

These words used to refer to these situations are repeatedly, obliviously and unnecessarily continuously applied, not only in sheer exaggeration but totally out of context.

One, the traffic cannot be torturous because you’re in your air-conditioned car listening to ‘flirty-at-ten-thirty’; a luxury Chinese war prisoners did not have while the Japanese yank out their finger nails one at a time.

Two, if the forty dollar per dish linguine was not cooked el dante and all coated in salty carbonara, is what you call nasty, what do you call leftover half-eaten chicken wings a KFC cashier serves to his kids everyday for dinner in the Philippines?

Three, if your job was hell, try hell.

And four, that fellow you called Hitler, was he going around looking for men with circumcised penises to be gassed to death? No, that fellow you called Hitler, is just your boss, who’s probably cracking his head figuring out what to write on your increment evaluation knowing your work is shit.

We should just stop being too dramatic responding to all slight negativity that gets in our way just because we can. Why can’t we say something comforting like, “wow, the traffic is quite heavy. I’ll just sing along this gleeful song? That ought to kill time”, or “meh, so the pasta is a little soft”, or “that fellow is a son of a bitch”, which is (or rather should be) a compliment to him. And I’ll tell you how.

See, we’re not only using those words I just mentioned in exaggeration and completely out of context, we even taboo words that relate to love, pleasure and intimacy. We use words such as ‘fuck’ or ‘suck’ or ‘blow’ and their variants to express anger; to imply unfavorable outcomes. We say “fuck you” or “fuck off” to express disagreement. We say “that sucks” or “that blows” to express dissatisfaction. We call people names to insult; such as ‘fuck-face’, ‘cum-face’, ‘son of a bitch’, ‘cock sucker’, ‘carpet muncher’, ‘bastard’ and the list goes on.

All these as verbs, are things that we as sexual creatures quite enjoy doing. To fuck simply means ‘to copulate’, or more commonly, ‘to have a sexual intercourse’, during which people do these things like blow, suck, munch, and make the involuntary fuck-face and eventually cum-face. A son of a bitch, a bastard, is a product of love and affection between two persons. How’s that an insult? It should be and it is a compliment. What is so wrong about expressing love; showing affection? What is wrong about it at all?

It’s all a part of expression of love and romance. Love and romance keep us sane; keep us going, lacking of which make us go mad. We’d be lost without them and we’d end up fighting for something else to fill the void. We start to fight for what other similarly deprived people, too, fight for. Fights become intense, bringing up hatred in people and in many cases result in wars; torturous, nasty wars as if Hitler was brought back from hell.

So let’s all take a step back and think. Think about the words we use in our day-to-day lives. Let’s ask ourselves. Are they really appropriate? Are we over exaggerating? I’m sure we can change our perspective on all the little negativity and misfortunes in life. We’ll then begin to take things easy. We’ll be more composed and relaxed as fewer things will bother us. Take a chill pill y’all

Now for you who took time to read this havering, I thank you, and I’d like to say, fuck you, you carpet munching, cock sucking cum-faced son of a bitch.

Banana

I only eat seedless fruits. I find the idea of putting in something in the mouth and not swallow them disgusting. I don’t chew gums too. There are a few stories behind this but I’m not getting into that right now. I do eat fruits with tiny seeds like grapes and watermelon; the seeds, I’ll just swallow. So, most Malaysian fruits are out. The best seedless fruits of all are non-other than bananas. They are nice, soft, sweet, high in potassium, vitamin C, carbohydrates for energy, glycogen, no fat, no cholesterol, and no sodium and they are available all year round. They don’t stink and in fact they smell quite good.

Bananas are widely available world over. Everybody can recognize a banana. Yellow on the outside, and white in the inside; beautiful. They are quite versatile too. You can eat them raw or be creative and cook them; improvise I might say.

I also like the fact that their global presence, that made them well recognized, turns them to be a very practical choice of fruit. The world knows them. I know them. Wherever I go I somehow tend to look for bananas. Those places may have many exotic fruits to offer and I will give them a try but so far, I haven't and I think I will never find a type of fruit that I love as much as bananas. Bananas are like my gravity. I may once in a while prefer other kinds of fruits but eventually my love for bananas will and always will prevail. They fulfill my needs and I understand them. I know how to eat them. I know when to eat them and when not to. I know how to cut them and where to poke to split them open.

So that’s that. I love bananas. The way they look; yellow smooth skin on the outside and soft and tender in the inside, the way they taste; the riper, the sweeter. I like them cold, I love them hot. I like them in pajamas, even better without.

They give me strength and energy and ease my guts.