Not very long ago I was in love with an exceptionally beautiful woman. Deeply in love apparently. The trouble is, I didn’t know it, and I didn’t expect to be, until the day she left for good. I could still find her if I want to. And I don’t mean those serendipity crap. I meant I actually know where to find her. Only that a pathetic jerk like me can never find the guts to actually go for it. Well, it wasn’t meant to be anyways. She was married and still is I should think. After all, being in Malaysia, apart from the dramatic political scene with dumb fucks dragging a cow’s head along the roads of a developed city, and some civil servants just conveniently forget they tossed someone out a 14th floor window, or a sweet girl getting caned for drinking a mug of rotten barley juice in public, nothing dramatic really happens. So no, I don’t think anything happened to her marriage in the past several months. But I might be wrong. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please, bear with me for a moment.
First of all, what is marriage? Marriage is a social union or a legal contract between individuals that creates kinship, depending on culture or demographic. Now let’s translate that into Malaysian context. There are a few definitions I can derive from the definition above, taking into account the customs of Malaysian society.
• It’s something people do so the parents will shut up about it already;
• It’s a legal contract Malaysians need to stay faithful to each other;
• It’s what Malaysian (mostly the female species) do to brag to the unmarried; and
• It’s a license to have sex without the “authorities” breathing on your neck (unless you’re sleeping with the authorities… whatever turns you on)
So my question is, why bother? Firstly, we never listen to our parents anymore anyways. Secondly, it’s not about being faithful, it’s about who can remain faithful the longest (that would be the real loser). Thirdly, brag all you want, nobody gives a flying fuck…really. And last but not least, everyone’s sleeping with everyone. If you aren’t a public figure who happens to have broken your promise to some contractors years ago, no one will tip off the authorities about that rendezvous of yours and your secretary because you don’t worth nothing. Now let me ask you again… why bother?
People tend to live this utopian dream wherein once you’re married, you live happily ever after. Unfortunately, the dream lasts until after the wedding day. It’s downhill from then on. For the past few years, many of the people I know (or once knew) had gotten married and to my naïve self’s surprise, they don’t stay married very long. Some spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on a wedding that lasted not longer than my libido after a year without any sexual healing. I also know couples who had been together / married for as long as 25-30 years but broke up because the men had caught the ham-sap disease, a.k.a. penyakit-memantat-bukan-bini, or the deadlier variant of the disease, penyakit-memantat-bini-orang.
What I’m trying to say is, the institution of marriage is now a joke. It is just another multi million dollar almost-organized industry. Many think they do it for love, but how can you call it love when it takes longer to plan the wedding that the marriage does to fail? So people, if you are in love and want to share it with each other, get a dog... or a cat… or a plant. Unless you are committed to that person that he/she appears hotter than Megan Fox (or her male equivalent), don’t bother. Don’t waste your time, your partner’s emotions, and your parent’s money.
All been said, no marriage is strong enough to last anymore. All you can do is to enjoy it while it last, because it will imminently pass…
… and if that woman’s happy marriage does eventually pass, I will be there. Or should I just play with the troubled water and go for it now? Hmm… I don’t know, it’s a pickle.
Maybe I should get something to eat. I’m thinking of spaghetti. Carbonara perhaps. And I know just the place to go. What do you think?
3 comments:
hahahha
hear hear!
If its just a joke, i would not feel this way. Shuld i blame u 4 being an idiot coz didn’t notice that u already fall in luv with her. She is exceptionally beautiful. R u blind dat time? I’m sorry coz too emo. Maybe bcoz i think i’m in that woman’s shoes. Maybe i’m not as beautiful as her. But after 4 yrs marriage then suddenly, he come back and said he actually luv me until now. Da same case as urs, late to notice until it’s gone. I dunno why but i can’t resist dat feeling to come back again, because he is my FIRST LOVE. Is it love or just lust? N we start the affairs or scandal maybe. Now, i’m in guilt position. My husband is wonderful, i cannot leave him. He didn’t do anything dat hurts me deep. But i also love HIM. I’m not being fair to him. He doesn’t complain coz he knows the risk and the lack of commitment he would face. But i know he may hv dreams dat we’ll be together as normal couple. It hurts both of us, it eat us inside. It is much more pain than the time i was rejected by him coz he thought he only love me as bestfriend. It is more complicated rite now. Is dat what u expect if u just go for it now? If yes, u hv to be ready with it, coz at this time u’ll feel the pain more than the happiness u’ll get.
Dear ran4,
Sorry I just noticed your comment. It is a bloody good one since you have the first hand experience. She hasn't a clue on what going on my mind and I'd like to keep it that way. No affairs, no scandals. It'll be just an inner struggle between me and myself. It is forbidden and wrong to make it more than that. Against my principles even. So yeah, hope you're doing alright.
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